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Kjønn: kvinne
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My husband says my opinions doesn’t matter, he calls me names, can throw things, push me, keep me awake during the argument when I am tired and about to pass out, yell in my face and then blame me for his reactions.
He threatens me, now he wants a divorce, the next day he says he does all that just for me to “wake up” and be a human being and not some shit from …. He puts himself higher up than me because I’m from another country. He would tell me how shit I am and would put me down every time I say something. I walk on a thin ice at home and am scared to say something wrong. Now he wants a divorce, but I’m just scared that he leaves me.
Svar
Hello and thank you for writing to us.
We are sorry to read what you’re going through. Everybody deserves to feel safe and valued in a relationship. It sounds like you’re in a difficult situation, and it is both good and understandable that you react to how you are treated.
We can’t see that you are asking us any specific questions. We would still like to mention some steps you might consider taking to get advice and support, and not having to face this alone.
Reach out for support from friends and possibly family. In addition, we would recommend that you talk to a professional. A crise shelter can give you free advice and guidance. You don`t need to be in immediate danger to call them and/or ask for a meeting. Employees at the shelters have knowledge about unhealthy and violent relationships and can be good to talk to. Here you can read more about how a shelter can help.
You may also consider talking to your GP about what you are going through. A GP can give advice and if needed also refer to others that can help.
You might consider asking your husband if you should ask for an appointment at a family welfare office. Together with a therapist/third person present, you can talk about what is happening in your relationship and whether you should end it or continue. If you want to stay together, you should address how you can change and improve your relationship and stop the derogatory talk, threats and pushing. If your husband doesn’t want to, you can also ask for a meeting alone to get advice.
Here you can read more about how the family counselling office can help.
Here you can find a list of help-services, including all the crises shelters and family welfare offices in Norway.
We wish you all the best!
With kind regards, dinutvei.no